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Post by jesusservant on Sept 5, 2009 12:57:11 GMT -5
hi my fellow brothas/sistas in Christ! i have recently re-committed my life to Christ and i have a question about my testimony. i used to commit homosexual acts before i got saved but i didnt consider myself h/sexual because i despised the lifestyle but i enjoyed the act. Do i have to mention this part of my life that was a secret and no1 ever knew or can i just leave it to the past and continue living in Christ?
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Post by LDM on Sept 6, 2009 8:49:05 GMT -5
Hi Jesus Servant, and welcome! :-)
Your testimony is never one-sided, but you are a living testimony. That means there are many aspects of your life that could be used to draw people to Jesus, not just aspects of sin. Whatever God leads you to share is your testimony.
If you have recently recommitted your life to Jesus, then He may choose to deal with specific issues with you first before having you speak about it. This way, you are not wounded or made weak in this area through your interactions with others. If God knows that alcoholism is a weakness for you, it would not make much sense for Him to send you witnessing about having been an alcoholic, at least until you are strong enough in Him to handle that.
Also, while I understand what you are saying, you must come to terms with what/who you were. If you did the acts, then that is what you were. If I tell lies, then I am a liar - even if I hate being a liar. God will not be able to set you free if you do not fully confess what you were and turn from it.
If you try to "hide" or keep secret that part of your life, the devil will continually bring people your way to touch on just that topic. That is just how he is. He knows that the more he puts his finger on the thing you are trying to hide, the more you will feel like a hypocrite. If he can bring self-loathing to you, you will wind up feeling condemned and will not be able to be used by God. Your "secret" will always hold you back.
So, the objective is not to try to keep it secret, but to ask God to deliver you from those desires so that you can be free! It may be hard to speak openly about them, but that is also a freedom maker. This is why God tells us to confess our sins one to another. That way, Satan cannot bind us through our "secrets". Again, this doesn't mean to go running yelling this from the rooftops. Just place yourself before the Lord and let Him make you over from what you were. When/if He wants you to share this, He will let you know.
Also, don't be ashamed of being a sinner. We ALL were. :-) Satan's plan to is make ALL of mankind sodomites. By perverting the image of man, he perverts the image we have of God (we are made in God's image). If you haven't, you may want to check out the upside down kingdom articles on the blog, which goes into this.
Jesus is able to deliver us from anything, but some things take a fight to get free from; homosexuality is one of those things. It is a real stronghold. Don't think you can just walk away from that and pretend it never happened. Confess is to the Lord and allow Him to make you free.
The essence of your testimony is not necessarily about you and what you have done or not done. It is a testimony about Jesus Christ. Our testimony is that Jesus lives and that He died for our sins. Whatever else God leads you to share to draw people on to Him is just preparations for them to receive the goodness of Jesus Christ. God is not out to embarrass you nor does He want you to rake yourself over the coals about the past. He wants to build you up in Him as you experience new life in Him, where you are no longer bound by the past. Go forward into that freedom Jesus Servant and let Jesus take over as Lord of your life. You will experience liberty like you never have before. AND you will care less and less what others have to say about it. :-)
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Post by jesusservant on Sept 22, 2009 6:33:44 GMT -5
Thanks LDM. I will keep on praying and asking God for guidance and what the Lord commands, i will obey for he is my saviour. Although i have another issue that's been bothering me, now that i have been saved, i keep fantasising of the idea of being in heaven so much that i think am more excited of going to heaven or avoiding hell than actually loving God who is the owner of heaven? Am i loving God's home more than i actually luv him?
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Post by LDM on Sept 22, 2009 16:34:13 GMT -5
No, I don't think so. Initially, it is quite possibly an appreciation for Hell (and a desire not to go there) which may lead to repentance. I know when I first got saved and realized that I was a sinner (and not the "good person" I thought I was), I sure knew that I needed salvation. But as with any relationship, as you get to know the Lord more, your love for Him will grow. Over time, you will desire to serve Him just because you love Him that much (and understand how much He loves you). Think of a little child, because that is how we are when we come to God. A baby may not understand "love" for their parent. But they sure do appreciate these people who feed them, change their diapers, hold them, bathe them, etc. Yet, as they grow, the appreciation turns into love as they begin to see the selflessness with which their parents take care of them; how their parents are willing to sacrifice anything for them. They begin to understand and show love as they see the pattern for love defined in their parents. It is not wrong not to want to go to Hell. But you are also right in that this is not all that a relationship with God entails. It is a very personal and close relationship He desires with each of us individually and you will see this evolve in your own life as you spend more time with Him. I cannot tell you how much I long to go to Heaven!! LOL The cares of this life can surely weigh you down. Consider Paul's words too: "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him." II Corinthians 5:8-9 "For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better: Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you." Philippians 1:23-24Paul on more than one occasion stated that he would rather just be in Heaven. But he also understood that there was a purpose for him down here to fulfill; to help bring souls into the Kingdom. It is not wrong for you to desire Heaven, just know that the Creator of Heaven is even more wonderful. The more you know Him, the more you will love Him as your relationship with Him grows.
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Post by newstartnow on Sept 22, 2009 17:31:50 GMT -5
Jesusservant, I thank God for your testimony. I will being praying with you.
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Post by ladyv on Apr 5, 2010 12:09:55 GMT -5
This blest my soul to read this. Thanks to all for sharing.
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